Can Things Really Get Any More Ridiculious?

Leave it to Sarah, the queen of comedy to leave us laughing and crying at the ridiculous efforts we are asked to go through all for the sake of beauty in her lastest Target Women video about beauty conTRAPtions.

Guerrilla Girls

I have been a big fan of the GG since I first learned about them while I was an intern at Ms. Magazine in the early nineties. A GG came into our offices with, well, a Gorilla mask on her head and I nearly screamed at the sight. Everywhere they go they all wear masks to make a statement that women in art are hidden from view. They tour, produce thought-provoking marketing campaigns about women in art awareness, and publish/write fantastic books. If you don't know about them, you should. They are fantastic.

This was a recent post of theirs on a women studies listserv I belong to. Check it out:

Here are some nibblets Guerrilla Girls On Tour discovered on the internet in the last 10 minutes:


. February 4th marked the 27th anniversary of Karen Carpenter's death via anexoria nervosa.

. The Biggest Loser is currently in it's 9th successful season on NBC.

. 18% of the world's population is starving, and they're not doing it on purpose.

. Paula Deen has 45,000 followers on twitter.

. Fat Camp The Musical debuted at the 2009 New York Musical Theatre Festival last month.

Are you confused? So are we.

Every time we open the refrigerator.

Jamming food into our mouths is the way our major organs continue to function. It's a good thing, but it's an awfully loaded act, isn't it? We think so too. This is why we created If You Can Stand The Heat: The History of Women and Food. In the show, we will address women's consistent anxiety around food and the body, we'll feature a handful of lady culinary heroes who contributed to the menus of our daily lives, and we'll investigate what responsibilities we have as surplus-food American citizens to the under-nourished nations in our global community. The show is a hilarious, flour-dusted, theatrically surprising stage conversation meant to dissolve fears of food borne from obliviousness and encourage freedom of the fork.

As we've toured across America, we've noted that the most pervasive issue young women want to tackle in our poster-making activism workshops is around BODY IMAGE. We realized we have a lot to talk about, a lot of work to do, and a lot of bread to knead while we do so.
The show involves 3 performers, a photo-shopped chorus of satirically charged images (per usual), and live food preparation. Spoiler alert: I wouldn't be surprised if somebody got a pie in the face.

Guerrilla Girls On Tour

Contact us: aphra@guerrillagirlsontour.com

Talk to a live Guerrilla Girl On Tour: 917-742-2973

Come visit us: http://www.ggontour.com/. We tour a variety of different shows and workshops. You can check it all out there!

Trick or Tweet us: www.twitter.com/GuerrillaGsOT

PS: We chew with our mouths open! Don't tell our moms.

Baby Blog

Yes I've gone and done it joined the mom and babe blog craze. I am really enjoying have a place to journal about our days and post pictures. If you are interested in the blog leave a note in the comment section with your email address. It's a by invitation, private blog so I'll need to add your email address so that you can see the blog.

About Last Night: A Feminist Mama’s Insight

Having read many parenting books and listening to my friends struggles with parenthood I know just how incredibly blessed I am to have such a mellow, sweet tempered baby in Parker. He rarely cries or fusses and only does so for a few moments until I either pick him up or nurse him. He’s really an easy baby and to make it even better he smiles, BEAMS at me all day long. With that being said I felt like a complaining mom who should just suck it up and deal with the sleep deprived evenings and count my blessings that my only real parenting challenge is that Parker is up every 2 hours at night.

But this week it really got to me. Usually he falls back asleep after nursing and I can get another hour or so of sleep until he wakes to eat again. This week he would nurse and nurse and keep nursing and then be wide awake, refusing to sleep. After a week of this sleep deprivation I was starting to really get cranky and weepy and quite frankly worried that I would never feel rested again.

And then my sweet husband came home last night and seeing me in my exhausted state told me to get to bed and sleep a good night’s sleep—that he would bottle fed Parker tonight while I recharged. I protested: “No it’s my job to take care of him and besides you have to go to work tomorrow morning. This is my job.” To which he replied, “I can handle a rough night every now and then. My job is to take care of you and Parker tonight.” Then the waterworks really flowed, first out of appreciation and then quickly, out of guilt.

“I should just deal with this—all moms go through this. I should just be able to nurse him throughout the night and be ok with it all,” I said. He responded, “You need a break and I can give you a break. Let this be my present to you…let me wrap up a good night’s sleep for you.” Micah picked this metaphor specifically because he knows my love language is presents.

In an instant I realized that I was overwhelmed with this notion that I should be able to do this mothering job without any help and that if I need help I have someone failed. Literally a moment later I knew that if I was talking to a girlfriend and she had said that I would have come to her aid telling her that everyone needs a break. I would have told her that needing a break doesn’t mean you failed. I would have pointed out how important it is for her to have her husband’s support and that it’s good for him and their child to have those late night feedings together.

So why is it so easy for me to be hard on myself? Why am I able to give other moms the benefit of the doubt but not myself? I may not have all the answers to those complicated questions but am glad that I was able to see for myself, quite quickly, that I should banish the mommy guilt and perfectionism and opt for the sleep.

Besides, I’m a better role model for my son—teaching him that support and co-parenting are essential to a healthy family. And who knows, maybe my full night’s sleep will rub off on Parker and he’ll begin sleeping through the night!

Baby Bird

Today Parker is three months old. It’s like time has flown by and stood still all at once.

It seems as though I can remember every moment I’ve spent with him from bringing him home the day he was born, that first night of breastfeeding, the birthday cakes that friends brought over, and the tears of joy that never left my eyes those first few weeks. I can remember all the family and friends who came to meet him for the first time—the way their eyes lit up and how broad their smiles were. Now we are comfortably in our routine and I’ve even spent an entire week alone with him. We wake up each morning to a huge grin and now watch him as he is learning to roll over. He coos and makes funny talk like sounds. And I still find myself so deeply in love with this little creature who is my son.

And time feels like it’s flown by—how is it that he’s gotten so big outgrowing his newborn clothes and stretching tight his bring home from Alma outfit that I can bear to get right of. I didn’t capture those first bubbles he blew but I was there the first time he grasped a ring on his baby gym. I witnessed the first time he smiled in recognition of me and my voice. And I sang him his first lullaby and read his first book. And today was another day filled with firsts—thunder and rolling over. It’s all happening so fast. And while I am one to be in the present it’s amazing that he is 3 months old.

Happy Birthday to my 3 month old baby boy…here’s to the next 3…may they fly by and go slow as molasses. Thank you for choosing our nest to come home to.

(Gorgeous artwork courtesty of my amazing friend Memory. Check out her website here)

First Annual Heather Hartley Hike

Previously I have written about the passing of my friend Heather Hartley. This weekend will mark the First Annual Heather Hartley Hike!

Friends, colleagues, students, and nature lovers are invited to remember Dr. Heather Hartley in one of her favorite places, The Gorge.

In what we hope will become an annual tradition, the Sociology Department at Portland State University invites you to spend some time in the woods with old and new friends.

Where: Horsetail Falls Trail

When: Sunday, October 11 at 2 pm

It’s an easy 2.6 mile hike near Multnomah Falls.

Directions: Along I-84, take exit 28 at Bridal Veil (or exit 35 at Dodson if traveling west on I-84). Drive east along the Columbia Gorge Scenic Hwy for 5.5 miles to the signed turnout for Horsetail Falls.

More information go here

Meet at the trailhead at 2 pm. It should be a perfect fall day and a great way to keep Heather in our hearts.

For more information, contact:

Randy Blazak at 503-725-8502 or cfrb@pdx.edu

Mama’s Bookshelf

As a new mama I find myself reading lots of parenting and developmental books. Right after Parker was born I found two books to be immensely helpful. To some they are contradictory but I found them quite useful. The first was Tracy Hogg’s, The Baby Whisperer. She is a fan of putting your baby on a schedule. I am not. I do not subscribe to the Baby Wise philosophy of having a baby fit into your lifestyle and schedule—at least not in those first 3months or the 4th trimester. What I did find really useful in Hogg’s books where:

 A chart listing all the various gestures and movements that signal hunger, tiredness, or pain.

 She also identified several different cries—the cough cry signals hunger. This helped a lot in identifying when Parker was hungry.

 Outlines the various stages of sleep and knowing when to put down the baby in this cycle

 Identifying the pattern for babies: after sleeping he likes to eat right away, then have some active time, and then falls asleep again. And during the active time, it’s diaper changing time and bath time.

My friend Jessica recommended The Happiest Baby on the Block book by Harvey Karp. This book was a life saver and is my #1 recommended book to give to all my new mom friends, which I have many (how fun!). Hogg’s strategy for helping a baby fall asleep did not work for Parker but Karp’s technique did. He outlines the 5 S’s that trigger the calming reflex so that your child can fall asleep. They are: swaddling, lying sideways, making a ssssshhhh sound, swinging and finally sucking. Employing these techniques absolutely made me feel like a better parent to Parker because I was finally able to get him to sleep without an hour of trying.

I recently finished Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself by my friend Amy Richards. I’ve written about her books before. I started her book while pregnant and didn’t find myself easily engaged in it. But then after a month of being a new mom I picked it up and couldn’t put it down. She writes very engaging about how feminist moms reconcile motherhood and their politics both in the home and out of the home.

For reference I am currently using two books: Dr. Sears’ Baby Book and Your Baby’s First Year: Week by Week. Both provide good information of everything a new mom or dad could possibly want to know.

What are the books that have been invaluable to you as a parent?

Birthright: Mothering Across Difference

Mothering Survey

Study on feminism and mothering

If you have a few minutes, please take the time to complete this online survey for a researcher at the University of Mary Washington, in Fredericksburg, Virginia who is researching attitudes about mothering and feminism. You can fill out the survey here: http://ff5umw.com/motherconsent.html

From the author:

"Despite much internet discussion and many books written about the potential relationship between feminism and mothering, there is surprisingly little research about people’s actual attitudes and beliefs about the relationship between feminism and motherhood. Given this, we are trying to collect data from feminists, non-feminists, mothers, and non-mothers to understand their beliefs so that we clear up some of the potential misconceptions out there.

We’re collecting our data online through a secure server, and all data is completely anonymous. While email addresses are used by participants to gain access to the survey, they are stored in a separate data base than survey responses and can never be connected.”

This is reposted from the In Other Words blog

Love Our Bodies, Heal Our World

Like most post pregnancy women I wonder when and if my body will return to it's pre baby body shape. The answer is most likely, no. This website, The Shape of a Mother is a place for moms to share their shapes with one another so that no one feels alone about their changing breasts, belly and other body parts.

I gained a bit over 40 pounds but the hardest part of the weight gain was going over 200 pounds. I just had a mental block about it. After birth I quickly dropped below 200. It's now been nearly 8 weeks and I still have 20 pounds I want to lose. I won't diet while breastfeeding but want to find some form of exercise I can do at home with a baby--walking and yoga come to mind.

This website has a beautiful message with lovely women supporting one another. It is very inspiring. Share it with other moms you know. Maybe if we learn to love our bodies we can help heal the world.